Weekend in Paris (Vegas)

A slew of bachelorette reviews, straight from the City of Sin

A few weeks ago, my mom called and pointed out that I hadn’t seen her and my dad for over six months. Now I’ve been pretty caught up in work for a while, but that just didn’t feel right. So moms and I decided to set out for a spur-of-the-moment trip to Vegas. <!–more–>

Admittedly, the city that prides itself on being a playground for salacious adult action wasn’t the most obvious choice for a weekend of mother-daughter bonding. But I wanted the chance to research some of the hottest bachelorette attractions in town, including a show by the “dirty hypnotist” Anthony Cools, a life-changing (really!) performance by the amazingly talented Australian singing group Human Nature, and the ultimate bachelorette party fantasy, The Thunder From Down Under. Mom and I had waaaay too much fun to cover in one post, so today is just Part 1 of 3, and we’ll top off the Vegas recaps later this week with an incredible Vegas bachelorette party package charity auction!

The rubber hits the road. The peaceful drive from Cali to Vegas.

The rubber hits the road on the peaceful drive from Cali to Vegas.

So Mom and I chose the Paris Hotel, mostly because it was the first place we were able to find a good room rate on short notice. When we arrived at the flashy, blinged-out lobby, lit with enormous ornate chandeliers and decked in Liberace-style decor, I instantly got “Vegas headache” — a syndrome caused by extreme aversion to shiny lights, pseudo-luxury, ceilings painted to look like the sky, and massive excess. But hey, Vegas ain’t a yoga retreat, right? And it turns out that those big frozen drinks they sell in the casino are conveniently designed to help you adjust to the flashy surroundings. After a cocktail or two and a quick win at the slots, mom and I were totally in “Vegas mode”.

The glitzy, not-so-Parisian Paris Hotel

The glitzy, not-so-Parisian Paris Hotel

Our standard room at the Paris was clean, quiet, and comfortable, and would easily fit four girls on a bachelorette weekend or one very happy honeymooning couple. There’s plenty of nightlife within the hotel itself, though mom and I skipped the nightclub circuit and spent most of our late nights at Napoleon’s Bar listening to the incredible dueling piano dudes play everything from Alice in Chains to Billy Joel. Those guys are seriously. freaking. talented. The restaurants at the Paris were variable, with a horrifying buffet that you should definitely skip at all costs. But French steakhouse Mon Ami Gabi was a fantastic spot  to share a bottle of Bordeaux, sample escargot and sea scallops gratinee, and feel almost like you’re in Paris (France).

Lounging under the Eiffel at the Paris Hotel pool

Lounging under the Eiffel at the Paris Hotel pool

Look Ma, it’s just like the Le Eiffel in Paris, with bikini-clad waitresses serving fruity oversized cocktails to shirtless dudes on cell phones. Ah, gay Pareeee! Anyway, mom and I really loved the pool at the Paris, situated just under the hotel’s hallmark Eiffel tower replica. It’s enormous, and they play a pleasant mix of familiar tunes over the loudspeaker while giant misters spray overhead to moisten the dry desert air. It’s not the most “scene-y” of the Vegas hotel pools, but that suited us just fine. And it was the perfect spot to relax and prepare for our fun nights out, starting with the remarkable hypnosis show, The Anthony Cools Experience.

Anthony Cools works hypnotic magic on eager vict...uh, subjects

Anthony Cools works hypnotic magic on eager vict…uh, subjects

The Anthony Cools Experience is *not* family friendly, and my poor mom sat through more raunchy, dirty, outrageously nasty humor and stunts than any mom ever should (luckily, she’s cool like that). It is, however, one of the most raucously funny and fascinating things I’ve ever seen in my life, and is an absolute can’t-miss show for any bachelor or bachelorette party. Here’s the deal: Anthony Cools invites audience members onstage to be hypnotized. It doesn’t “take” for all of the volunteers — he ends up telling about a third of the participants to go back to their seats when it’s clear that they’re not truly “under his spell”. But for those who go under, a series of shocking, embarrassing, and completely unbelievable activities await. Cools has his participants audition for a porn movie by making love to a chair. He tells one woman that her nether-regions are talking to her — loudly — and that she needs to keep them quiet. Another feels his butt burning every time the song “Ring of Fire” plays, and has to rub it vigorously on the floor to numb the pain. And that’s the tame stuff. This show will have you laughing riotously for 90 minutes straight — especially if one of your crew gets hypnotized. It also left me dorkily obsessed with learning hypnosis. (If you know what Cools  does at the very end of the show, you’ll understand why!)

Seriously, if you’re planning a trip to Vegas, book your Anthony Cools tix now. And come back here tomorrow for part deux of Weekend in Vegas, featuring the sweetest songs sung by the cutest boys in the single greatest show mom and I have ever seen in our lives. For reals.

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  1. Staying at Paris is always an enjoyable experience. I think it’s also great for a laid back bachelorette party, especially a small group. It has a lot to offer. The dueling pianos are a personal favorite!

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