I Slept With My Husband-To-Be’s Best Friend – Do I Have To Tell?

Wednesday – Reader Question of the Week


Q: I am really not sure what to do?!  I am getting married next week.  My husband’s best friend since they were 5 is the best man.  He is a great guy and so is my husband to be.  The horrible thing is I slept with his best friend but before we were engaged. <!–more–> It was when I was dating my husband (3 years ago), but we weren’t living together yet.  I got really drunk at a party one night (my husband to be) was away, and his best friend came over and it just happened.  We did it 3 times over the next month and promised we would keep this a secret.  We never told anyone.  We agreed we had to stop for obvious reasons.  It was just a fun thing and didn’t mean a thing.  My husband means the world to me.  His friend also means the world to him.  I don’t want to lose him and I don’t want him to lose his friend.  Do I have to tell?  I have been feeling really guilty about it lately. – Guilty,  Miami, Fl.

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  1. you should have told him along time ago. But if i were you; keep your mouth shut, it happened it’s over and done, move forward, unless you want to lose him.

  2. First I want to start by saying I think you’re about three years too late in asking this question, and I also think you’re incredibly selfish. So while he probably deserves much better, he’s decided… for better or worse… he wants to marry you. I can only assume that if he knew this little tidbit, he probably wouldn’t have stuck around three more years. So… only you know what’s best: Tell him, and it’s probably over… and three lives will be turned upside-down. Don’t tell him, and things go on, just like they have, with this dirty little secret buried in the past.
    Good luck.

  3. Wow, all I can say is WOW! Well maybe that’s not all I can say, but the truth will come out one day and it will be worse then you ever imagined. I’ll keep an eye out for this on the news as a murder suicide.

  4. He has to know..100%. You both should be entering this marriage with open-eyes. Him saying “I do” to you would be under false pretenses. It’s completely unfair to him and very selfish of you if you say nothing. It won’t be easy but the long term benefit is worth whatever the outcome may be. Living in truth is priceless.

  5. Wow! You should have saved your soon-to-be-ex a lot of grief and told him sooner. How dare you think you can have your cake and eat it too.

  6. You have to tell him. The foundation of a marriage shouldn’t include a lie. He deserves to know you cheated, even if it was years ago.

  7. Personally, I think that you should. What you did is wrong, it’s cheating- even if you weren’t engaged or living together… you were still together!! And his best friend should know better too. You feel guilty about it because it is wrong. However, I will say… be prepared for the outcome. Worst case: He calls off the wedding, breaks up with you, and dumps the best friend. It is possible. However, he deserves to know. Wouldn’t you want to know (if the tables were reversed) before you entered into what is SUPPOSED to be a life-long commitment.

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