I Have Never Met My Fiancé… and I’m Marrying Him in 2 Weeks.

Wednesday – Reader Question Of The Week

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Ok. I have always been a big believer in going with my gut.  I met this man online two years ago.  We video chat nightly for two hours- MINIMUM!  We do an online “date” every Saturday night.  I get dressed up and we each make a nice dinner and stalk online while eating.  I have never felt anything like this before. <!–more–>  And then he asked me to marry him.  I said yes even though we have never met in person.  The wedding is in two weeks and it will be the first time we have met in person..although I feel like I have known him my whole life.  The reason we never met is I live in Kentucky and he lives in Australia.  I don’t have a ton of money for a ticket and he has not had that much time to take off of work.  At first I assumed one of us would come visit the other, but then he shocked me by proposing.  And I knew it was right. It became kind of romantic – this idea of not meeting until the wedding day as well.  So I am moving out to Sydney in 2 weeks for our wedding and am moving in with him.  I know everything about him!  Am I crazy???

Taking the Risk. Lexington, KY

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7 Comments

  1. Wow. Sounds romantic but it also sounds like you need a good dose of reality.

    Are you prepared to be all alone in a new country with what is essentially a stranger? What if he misrepresented himself online? Would you still marry him? What if his breath stinks? What if he’s a slob and you’re a neat freak?

    I would really REALLY hope you will think this out. If you love each other – and I have no doubts that you do – do yourselves a favor and slow down. Spend some time together. I find it incredible that in two years, neither of you managed to take the time or save the money to see each other. That’s a red flag to me.

    It can work but you’re setting yourself up for some serious disappointment and heartache here.

  2. One of the most important events in one’s life is the wedding. Choosing a life partner is not an easy task. A person may be fascinated by some of the attributes of the potential spouse, like beauty, glamour, personality, wealth and social status but the proposed person may not prove a good match in the future life. While selecting a suitable match one has to be objective and pragmatic in outlook.

  3. Wow! Huge risk indeed! But I can totally relate. My fiancé is from New Zealand and I’m from Texas. We saw each other twice a year, but skyped nearly every day. We recognized early on that our long distance gave us the “honeymoon effect” and we tried ever so hard to not put each other on pedestals. We decided that he should come stay with me for 3 months to see if we could make this work. The Beatles might say “All You Need Is Love”, but that isn’t true. If he had not been able to get work here, if he did not enjoy America as much as he did, if he missed his family too much, if he didn’t like my family and friends…the whole relationship would have been out the door. There are so many outside factors to consider when making a relationship work, let alone a marriage! I just hope that you have figured out your job situation already and you make an effort to make your own friends in your new location because he won’t be able to make you happy alone. Only you can make yourself happy and having him there by your side to support you is the most important thing.

  4. I think you need to talk to a family member, someone at your church or a really good friend, because yes… you are crazy!

    If he loves you, and wants to marry you so bad, make him move here. I don’t care how wonderful he is on the computer… you still don’t know him. You have no idea about his life in another country.

    You really need to put your head on straight and rethink this Girlfriend!

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