Can I Fire My Bridesmaid?

Reader Question Of The Week -

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Submitted by – Name Withheld, Michigan

“Hi guys.  So one of my friends from High School is a bridesmaid at my upcoming wedding.  We have grown apart a bit since college, but I asked her out of long term friendship and loyalty.   She has complained about everything! <!–more–>  We had a bridal party get to know each other dinner and she complained about the location, food and price, complained about the price of her dress and well basically has been bringing a negative attitude to the whole thing.  The wedding is one month away.  Can I fire her?!”

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  1. I was one of those complainers, especially when I found out how many attendants my cousin had(13) and how she only needed me to fill a space because one of her other bridesmaids couldn’t afford her dress. I didn’t feel honored to be in her party, and wasn’t appreciated when I shelled out over $800 when everything was said and done. —-> I now have the shoe on the other foot, and I’m a bride with a few bridesmaids that can’t handle the financial constraints of being a bridesmaid. Should I completely drop them from my party? No. I’ve been there, I’m a broke ass bride with some broke ass bridesmaides and I’ve done everything I could possibly do to make sure they are not put in the same rediculous situation I was in.

  2. I agree you should talk to her. It sounds like she’s either grown into a natural complainer or she’s jealous of all the attention you’re getting. Either way, she needs to know how it is affecting you. If she is willing to change and be positive the whole way through and you can enjoy her company, then keep her. If not, let it go. You don’t want bad memories from that day. It’s enough stress without that.

  3. There is no written rule to say you have to have a bridesmaid so yes if you are already stressing about her then yes she is fired!
    She obviously does not really want to be a bridesmaid anyway so maybe a little chat will clear the air a bit with both of you and then you will both feel relieved.

  4. as a “fired” bridesmaid, I can say with certainty, that yes, you can replace you attendants with those who are a better fit for you. Its your day, its your money and you shouldn’t have to worry about others critiquing your choices.

  5. YES. If’ she’s “raining on your parade” so to speak, tell her, “Thanks for playing, but you are not a winner.” Brides are under enough stress without having a Debbie Downer on their backs.

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